This is church

This morning, as I was getting ready for church, I whispered a quiet and desperate prayer. I just need to feel loved this morning. Please don’t let me walk away from church feeling more lonely than I already do.

If I’m being completely honest, church can leave me feeling lonely sometimes. I love worshiping with my family and my community, but I can walk away from the morning feeling as if nobody saw me, as if whether I was there or not didn’t really matter. I tell myself, I would have felt less lonely had I just stayed home. It would be less painful to really be alone than to be surrounded by so many people and still feel lonely.

But yesterday, God reminded me that He hears even the quietest of prayers. As we drove into the church parking lot, I saw a woman who I had supported through a tough situation a few months ago. As we made our way into church, I ran into another woman who has loved and cared for several of my children during their time in the church nursery. As we walked downstairs into the church foyer, I whispered “good morning” to my pastor’s wife, ran into a fellow Safe Families volunteer, was hugged by a woman who has been a source of encouragement to me time and time again, and was welcomed into the sanctuary by a fellow Leadership School classmate. As I took off my coat and began to worship, a friend turned around in her seat, took my hand and whispered, “I missed you”. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see another Leadership School classmate. God does not owe me a single thing, and yet, in His great mercy, one by one, God showered me with His abundant kindness and compassion. I see you, and I love you so deeply. Would you be reminded that all of these people who see you and care for you, couldn’t ever see you and love you the way that I do.

When the service ended, God continued to surround me with friends, new and old; mentors who have walked and are walking with me; and people who I have fervently prayed for, and undoubtedly, have upheld me in their own prayers.

This is church, and this is community. This is the power of a God who sees us, who loves us, and who always hears us, even when our prayers are quiet.