Can I feel completely safe

Our family fostered children. That is when I entered new heartache, loss and experiences of deep confusion and loneliness. There were beautifully enriching days but also wretchedly hard ones. Enveloping children into your heart and family from parents who invested all that they could to raise and care for their children is crazy. Each child’s story is special and messy, just like mine, so while I cried out to God for wisdom to love well, I learned all that I could about trauma, addiction, FASD and more. I often had to land on the bosom of my Saviour for rest and understanding as some of the questions I had were unanswerable. 

It was after times like when one ‘mommy’ missed visit after visit, and ‘our’ child looked at me and smiled, “It’s okay.  It will be okay.” That was the warmth of Christ’s grace to me that he knew. God wrecked me with ‘our’ children. And I loved it. One night in particular, I had tucked ‘our’ little girl into her quilted butterfly bedding after our pattern of stories, songs and prayers that as I kissed her goodnight her content smile set me off. I smiled back and quickly left her room to release into the pillow on my own bed. She was so vulnerable. She did not know where she would be for her tomorrows. She did not know where her mom and dad were. But she did know where she was at the time. And she felt loved and safe. I wrestled with that while I would lay awake worrying about the most insignificant things, she trusted. God knew I needed her. He gripped my soul and reminded me that He died so I could have life. He suffered so that I could have joy. He separated himself from his Father so I could sleep with peace each night knowing I would never be forgotten. He healed and was resurrected so that I would not fear the future days of my new friends and family. He lived on earth to model for me and teach me that the best was yet to come, and all things would be made new. 

Shortly after we began to foster children, God led me to start an initiative to connect churches to the city to care for the vulnerable in our community.   Although I felt led to develop a ministry, I had no idea where to begin. I love Christ’s bride. I love the people in my neighbourhood, but what did I know about gathering resources and making connections with people who could make an impact? CAFO was there for me through my growth and development from the very beginning. I was hungry to learn more from God for the ‘least of these’. The first person I met in Kentucky at a CAFO summit was Bishop Blake. I’m humbled and indebted to God for that interaction and God’s story through him. He was who I longed to be. He lived the life I thought I’d live. He had depth of integrity and devotion for the Father of the fatherless. He left his comfort to experience more of Christ’s love. He made me feel seen and safe and so I begged God for more of whatever he gave the Bishop. Since he was the first person I met who was connected with CAFO I knew that I was en route to get fed and fueled, and so from there I devoured all of what they provided to help me. I was welcomed in my vulnerability and felt safe by everyone at CAFO. 

After my first request for help from CAFO, I was set up with a coach. I was directed to other ministry leaders who would share how they spoke with church leaders and social service supervisors. I learned so much about healthy narratives to encourage communication and support for biological, adoptive, kin and foster families. CAFO was a lifeline for direction and support but also for personal character development and growth in faith.  I took courses, received training, learned about fundraising, and was encouraged by one person after another in my walk with God in loving who was near to him. I was safe in their support.

Have you ever experienced feeling completely safe? It’s a feeling like no other. God is there. God is felt. God is encountered. I experienced it. The impact is palpable in my soul to this day. It wasn’t just one person. It wasn’t the message of a speaker. It wasn’t soul-touching music. It was in the space of thousands of people as a whole. But, it was just God. It was at the CAFO summit. CAFO became family and at the summit each year I met my siblings in Christ united with our Father for what was on his heart. We all felt the Father’s strong hand and his compassionate eyes on us together. We were safe with a God who understood. And nothing needed to be said. It was experienced.

Okay, are you curious about what this CAFO is and what they do? CAFO stands for Christian Alliance for Orphans. But wait, as you will read on their website, the term, ‘orphan’ is used in the biblical understanding including all vulnerable children and families. CAFO is Christian. It is an alliance, “a global community that unites and strengthens Christians to respond effectively for vulnerable children and family.” *

My first introduction to CAFO was at one of their yearly summits. I thought that that was what CAFO actually was. I was delighted to learn that it was much more than the yearly conference. But it was there, in a large church in Kentucky that I was oblivious to the speaker, to the thousands of people around me, and to my usual comfort zone, that I experienced Christ deeply. The people, like Bishop Blake, who attend summits have all experienced or witnessed loss, heartache and suffering. They have all entered into hard experiences for the sake of Christ and his tender love for vulnerable children and families. ‘They don’t care about their egos; they don’t care about logos’. They care like Christ for those who need connection, need him, and with a view on eternity. 

CAFO desires to solve the problem of feeling overwhelmed in the face of immense need. It did that for me as our family fostered and as I developed a ministry to connect churches to the vulnerable in the city. Whenever I felt that tinge of fear or uncertainty, someone in the CAFO network was there for me, in prayer and practicality. Their hope is to unite the strengths of people to work together for a future where ‘every child experiences God’s unfailing love in a thriving family.’ They ‘prioritize preserving, reuniting, and expanding families to ensure children experience the transformative care of stable, nurturing relationships.’ Over the years of growth and understanding, CAFO has developed phenomenal initiatives to give hope to followers of Christ around the world.  If you and/or your church are led to God’s heart for the vulnerable, I’d encourage you to peruse the following areas of CAFO:

MORE THAN ENOUGH – A Community of churches, organizations, and advocates working toward a shared vision of more than enough for children and families before, during, and beyond foster care.

RESEARCH CENTER BEST PRACTICES - Curated resources and actionable strategies so you can confidently offer better care and see better outcomes for vulnerable children and families.

 CAFO SUMMIT – An unforgettable gathering of Christian leaders, professionals and parents who are passionate about effective care for vulnerable children and families.

DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLESHIP FUNDRAISING – Help for child-serving ministries grow through free fundraising teaching and coaching grounded in a theology of God’s abundance.

THE FAMILY INSTITUTE HEATLHY FAMIILIES - Help for foster and adoptive parents nurture the healing and health of their children, rooted in Scripture and the best available research.

PURE RELIGION PROJECT CHURCH MINISTRY - World-class resources, supportive community and ongoing connection and coaching, you don’t have to wonder “how” anymore – you can lead your church with assurance, hope and the help you need.

AGING OUT INIATIVE - Sharing successful models from CAFO member organizations that show how the Church can help create healthy life transitions for those aging out of care.

SOUL CARE - Learn from faithful and effective Christian leaders what daily choices and practical habits have kept their souls vibrant and eyes bright in the long, often difficult work of justice and mercy.

GLOBAL NETWORK GLOBAL IMPACT – Faith-based networks of churches, NGOs and agencies to see every child in a loving family, embraced within a collaborative community.

* All quotes are taken from CAFO’s website –  https://cafo.org/